Sunday, January 20, 2008

simply confused

simply confused but a good kind of confused. God keeps putting things in my life, or as I say that guess it could be answers to my prayers, that causes me to SO much happiness yet makes us second guess "our" path/future. Janson and I thought this would be a good time for me to go back to work w/ Kailyn turning two and our "worldly/fleshly" need for more money. BUT after CR and my desire to serve in step study and then on Sat. morn. I had the most amazing experiance with a program called SWEAT. They send out "teams" to fix up houses. Tarrah picked me up and we went together and we were both first timers!!! an experiance w/in itself! Anyways we painted and killed lots of roaches!!! But WOW it was awesome! This is something I would love to really serve in. Anyways back to my point...how can I serve God and do all of these other things if I work. How am I going to keep our house running, grocery shop and all of the little things w/ a Happy/loving/faithful spirit??? God is just really showing us some real challenges to this. Then our preacher, Matt, said the most amazing thing today during service...paraphrasing...Why do something if it is at the expense of your soul? Is that a win??? Is money ever a win?? Maybe God gave us Jansons salary to live on and that is where he wants us to stay. Is me working worth taking away from our kids or family? Is it worth taking away from my spiritual growth? Wow...sorry to make anyone who is actually reading this confused about "my" thoughts... I just question how am I going to glorify God and what is the best way for me? I am just simply confused.

4 comments:

The Lancasters said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
allyo said...

Stacy-
I always enjoy reading your posts. I am encouraged by your faith and your desire to serve the Lord. Your two girls are blessed to have you as a mom. I hope that Camden sees the Lord through me like your girls do you!

The Lancasters said...

I had a great time killing cockroaches with you on Saturday :) You rock!

campers said...

I am praying for your decision...I know it is a hard one...but the Lord will guide you through it!

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