Grace and Faith

These are two things that The Lord has been teaching me...last night I was actually able to see what he has been doing or at least He gave me a glimse...so thought I would share...
First of all I believe that God gave us our children to TEACH us...so often I think that I am here for them but think it is the other way around...In being a parent I now can understand how much God loves me. I also have been able to see how much control, fear, and my lack of faith in the last few years...which goes back to Gods absolute and amazing Grace...
just a few examples:)) For those of you who dont know Kailyns speech has been delayed. So much that at 2 she was saying just a few words. Instead of trusting in God and my own heart, I began to listen to "the world" and what the world says...so easy to believe others without going to The Father, FIRST...I would pray but only my mind was in it...not my heart...I began to think that I wasn't doing something right or that someone else would be more qualified to teach, guide and prepare Kailyn in where she should be...as the "worlds" standards....this week God kept showing me simplicity...that is all he asks for...why we make things so complex I have NO idea but has been opening windows to my heart that were closed due to fear and control...Kailyn has started talking more and more...is she delayed to the worlds standards...yes but that is ok b/c God designed her...not the world or anyone else...She is so beautiful in every way ...we have so much to be thankful for....see i was trusting him in the things that i wanted to but not in everything...i am sure that i bring a lot of humor to him:)
The other thing God showed me was....last night Janson came home late but was so excited and had SO much to talk about. If anyone knows my husband, talkative, is not an adjective that you would use to describe him...Anyway his track team broke the mile relay record and so on and so on but all I kept hearing was God whisper in my ear... Gods gift/Grace/Blessing that Janson loves his job and loves the job that God put him in. He does it so well! So often i feel sorry for myself when everyone elses husbands are home for dinner and on weekends but WOW God chooses to show me his love in so many amazing/unpredictable ways... And how amazing that I have the opportunity to lean on him in lonely times. When Janson and I got married he was always my rock and I never liked being alone...Funny b/c God has always known this about me and knew that he was going to have to change that:) So yes he has always been in control but for some reason i so often think i am...I love how he continues to grow me as a mother, wife and daughter in Christ....this is his ultimate Grace:)